A Gem from the Pages of Entertainment Weekly

I don't write about pop-culture as much as I'd like, partly a result of me experiencing less pop-culture in Israel than I do in the U.S. That being said, being back in the States allowed me to compile a few weeks worth of my magazines and I'm slowly working through them.

Entertainment Weekly is, as a rule, a little bit boring to read - I like it mostly for its gossip, behind the scenes and personal profiles, book reviews, and as a way of keeping me up-to-date with the pop-culture world. I get my higher-level pop-culture, for the most part, from Fresh Air, New York, TVWorthWatching.com, and Slate.

Once in a while, EW will throw out a lovely gem.

For example, in the March 6th issue, you might have missed Lisa Schwarzbaum's review of Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience. But, had you read the magazine cover-to-cover (as is my wont), you would have read this (really, I can't make this up):

As for the extra-cool format the movie is shot in, not much happens in Disney Digital 3-D that couldn't have happened in Disney Five Minute Ago 2-D - except for one unintentionally, hilariously, subliminally dirty bit that will be lost (I hope) on the fervent crowd. I refer to the moment where the boys [the Jonas brothers, who "strike sexy rocker poses while wearing rings symbolizing their commitment to premarital virginity"] grab big fire hoses, hold them like ... fire hoses ... and spray the heads of their moaning girl fans with thick geysers of, um, foam. The girls respond by holding up their lighted wands. The whole sequence becomes so phallic that the movie seems to be breaking loose toward Spinal Tap [apologies for no umlaut] territory. Then it returns safely to Disney earth with the heavenly message encoded in the boys' finger jewelry: Abstinence only, kids!

I'm pretty sure there was something else in the issue that caught my eye but, um, in the shadow of that quotation, I don't think there's anything else to be said.