LOL on MMQB

I never knew one would even think of shampooing with soap (I mean, I guess, technically, that every time I wash any part of my body I'm "shampooing" - and I do use soap, but anyway) until this Peter King doozy in "Aggravating Travel Note of the Week:"

Thumbs up and thumbs down for big Marriotts, like the Marriott Westshore in Tampa. The Good: High-def TVs in the rooms are very welcome. Thank you. Nice to be able to watch the Browns-Bills with a great picture last Monday, even if I only lasted 'til midway through the second quarter.

The Bad: Marriotts simply have to change their shampoo. On overnight trips I often don't bring my full toiletry kit, so I can skate through security and not check a bag. So I find myself using whatever shampoo is in the hotel. Marriotts have been using some Bath and Body Works girly shampoo for the past year or so, and when I get out of the shower, the perfume smell is revolting. Shampooing with soap is the only option -- a grotesque one, but a necessary evil now -- to avoid smelling like a woman.

Can't you put no-smell or low-smell shampoo in the rooms, Mr. Marriott? I know you'll scoff at the toiletries in Hampton Inns, but the freebie Purity shampoo there, relatively scentless, is the way to go.

I want to be Peter King when I grow up.

(5 minutes later)

But wait, there's more goofy goodness:

I think one of the big problems with the NFL's system of fines is this: Jared Allen was tolled $25,000 the other day for a late hit on Green Bay quarterback Rodgers. I'm sure when he got the notice of the fine, he immediately went to his coaches and said, "Guys, this fine money is out of control. I've got to tone down my hits on the quarterback. Don't expect me to be so aggressive from now on.'' Not.

Allen's total compensation this year, in salary and bonuses, is $21,119,256. The 25K fine is around one-tenth of one percent of his 2008 pay. To put that in terms you will understand: If you make $40,000 and were to get fined a similar percentage, you'd be out $48. My point is Allen will not spend three seconds thinking about changing the way he plays football, because the fine is no motivation to do so.

Maybe I want to be Jared Allen?